bright spots

Last week was another roller-coaster ride of ups and downs in my work, but as I reflected on where I started  more than a year ago and where the women's groups are today, I can't help but be thankful for where God has brought us and what he is teaching me.

In 2 different communities I led another session on how to avoid losing money in your business, and why selling on credit is bad for your business. It was a lesson adapted from the material I wrote in my first year in Teguc, and it went over better than I thought. It was pretty interactive with lots of stories and discussion questions, and the women in both groups participated enthusiastically with plenty of personal experiences to beef up my simple examples. I loved it! It is always so fun for me to interact with the women and feel like they are learning something, but also that they can recognize how much  they already know and can apply to their fledgling enterprises.

Other exciting moments...
In one group, the women took seeds that ACDIM gave them a few weeks ago and they are already seeing sprouts in their small garden plots at the municipal office where they meet (yay for year round growing season!).

In the second group we visited, they were ready to purchase a piece of property where they can build a small structure for their bread-making business and other ventures. It was such a proud moment to see the women hand over 25,000 Lempiras (about $1250) of their own hard-earned, hard-fought money to pay the neighbor for a small plot of land. For them, it is a huge amount of money, and the fact that ACDIM did not give them one cent of it is pretty exciting. I told them they need to be proud of themselves for where they have come, and it's because of their own hard work and determination. To see the group start with 60 and work its way down to 14 or 15 faithful workers, to sit through trainings month after month, and now finally see some forward motion for their dedication--it's pretty awesome.

These moments help me remember why I am here and why I do this work. I care so much about these 4 groups of women and their well-being in the short and long term. They are up against a lot--don't get me wrong--and every week brings new obstacles. They need lots of things to keep their small businesses going, and we are doing the best we can with the little bit we have. We can't give them seed capital, or build them a building from the ground up.They face issues of division, pressure from other organizations who wish them ill, and any number of things that drag them down. But we are present with them, walking alongside them; not to pull or push (though sometimes, its hard not to!) but to encourage them, support them and offer what we have that may be of use to them. I never know what each week will bring, but it's the bright spots like this that help us keeping moving forward.

thanksgiving post

Every year on this blog I have posted a post-thanksgiving post...I guess this year I will be on time. It is hard to believe I am posting about thanksgiving for the 3rd time--that I am in the midst of my 3rd year here in Honduras. What a ride!

The recent elections here in Honduras (almost concurrent with US elections) have been on my mind a lot as the contrast in democratic processes in each country gives me a lot to think about. I just read today that certain members of the "resistance" party running for local office were killed before the primary elections and it continues to make my heart heavy. Not only for the corruption in politics, but what little value is placed on life in this country. It can't help but make me eternally grateful for where I was born and raised, and even for the government and rule of law that I take for granted in the U.S.

But I guess this is getting to heavy for a holiday post, eh?

So, as I think about what I am thankful for this year, many things come to mind. Big things like safety, health and family. And little-r things like having an oven to make a Thanksgiving dessert and a warm down comforter at night when my bedroom is freezing!

I am grateful that I live in a part of Honduras where I can enjoy relative safety as I walk around town, that I can be outdoors in fresh air spaces and enjoy the rural countryside.

I am thankful for new opportunities for growth as I participate in the worship team at my church.

I am thankful for my family and how important they are in my life; that we could share a few days together last month, and that they will be able to visit me very SOON!

I am thankful for my boyfriend Henry and how God is working in our lives as we grow and learn together. And I am thankful he will be able to meet my mom and dad in January (not sure if he feels the same ;)

I am thankful for friends and co-workers in Honduras who enrich my life and help me learn, adapt and enjoy all the ups and downs of my experience here.

It is my hope that everyone reading has a great Thanksgiving, doing whatever it is that warms your heart and helps you take a moment to be thankful for what you have. Enjoy!

360 degrees

Since I first came to Honduras, I have been committed to getting the "full" Honduran experience...or the 360 degree view, if you will.

Some days I'm not even trying so hard and these things just happen to me...

Exhibit A:
As any gringa in Honduras will tell you, it is not rare to have people stare at you, make inappropriate comments or make you feel uncomfortable for looking different. I should be used to the fact that I am 13 inches taller than the average Honduran. But--Honduras likes to keep me humble...

Walking home from the gym I passed a bolo (drunk) on the street and he says to me "Uy, usted es gigante" or in English "Wow, you are a giant." No matter how drunk the man was or how frequently I am called out for being tall, it always stings just a bit.

Exhibit B:

Just this week I went to the doctor for a minor skin irritation on my arm. All I wanted was a cream. 

Did I just get the prescription for a cream?

Nope.
I got a shot--right in the hip. Talk about a sting!

It might be pertinent to know that Hondurans are obsessed with injections. No matter what the ailment, there is an injection that will (supposedly) cure you 10x faster than any pill or healthy eating regimen.

While the hip hurt the rest of the day and the injection site was rather tender, I did admit to a good friend that I can't help but feel I am one step closer to the full Honduran experience. I guess I'm still missing a few degrees to be able to say I've seen all 360.

heart-filled worship

Church has had its ups and downs for me throughout my time in Honduras. When I lived with my host family I felt obligated to attend a certain church and its ridiculously intensive weekly schedule of services.

Then there is the infamous church retreat that I posted about a few months ago that was very stressful in its own right, and left me pretty bitter about the way people are coerced into church attendance and spiritual experiences.

I often drag myself to services, without having my heart in the right place. Sometimes, if I humble myself enough to let go all of the distractions, frustrations and "different" ways of doing things, I am able to free myself to worship and learn something.

When I was home a few weeks ago, it was rejuvenating for me to attend my church in PA and worship in English, even sing songs that were new to me but had words projected so I could sing along. I felt at home in my pew, soaking it all in and even sharing in communion with my church community (something I rarely experience here in Santa Rosa).

But what I have slowly come to learn through all of these struggles--to find church community, find moments of worship and refreshment when sometimes all I want to do is run out of the church doors and crawl into my bed--is that it all depends on my attitude and my willingness to lay those frustrations and criticisms aside. I have to allow myself to be moved into a place where I can worship and appreciate the community I am part of for what it is.

A few months ago I was talked into practicing with and joining the worship team at my church in Santa Rosa. I had been resisting for awhile, but finally realized that not being involved in anything musical was a real void in my life here in Honduras, and maybe reason for feeling a void in my spiritual life. I have always loved music and find myself most connected to worship experiences through music.

It has not been easy, and I still wonder some days what I am doing, but I am enjoying the new challenge of it, and a new perspective on the church--literally (from the front platform) and figuratively. Leading others in worship has challenged me to consider where my heart is and how my own state of mind affects the ministry I am apart of. I am hopeful that this change will help me to have a more healthy perspective on the church and continue to teach me about a heart of worship.