post thanksgiving post

I am still stuffed from all the food I ate yesterday...it was so delicious! My MCC reps made a wonderful turkey feast and were kind enough to invite those of us close by to join in with them.

Although I missed being able to share this warm holiday with my family in Pennsylvania, I am blessed to have a chance to share with friends here in Honduras who have become like family while I am away.

I have some photos to share, but can't upload them yet, so you'll have to wait to see some of those.

The past few months have been challenging, and my coming back to Honduras has not been how I thought it would be. But that doesn't mean there isn't good to be found in the unexpected...and it definitely doesn't account for the ways that God is working in me and teaching me about contentment, solitude and living in the gray areas.

Thankful for...
My family who stays in touch, trys to send me packages, and always takes an interest in my life, whether I'm near or far away. love and miss you!

Friends in Honduras who keep tabs on me and come to visit when I am feeling lonely.

A new church family in Santa Rosa who has welcomed me with open arms.

Youth group locura that makes me feel like I'm still in high school some days...but that lets me know I'm already an important part of the gang.

The privilege of living and working in another country and how that shapes my perspective.

The privilege of my American passport, being able to travel, and having access to opportunities that many people can only dream about.

Being able to read and write and think critically about what is going on around me.

Having the chance to eat a delicious meal and have leftovers for 4 or 5 more times around.

The hope of advent and the change of seasons that refreshes and renews.

~Happy late Thanksgiving~

train games

leftovers!!

before: =cold turkey leg + rootbeer float...what could be better...

after.

quarter century update

A lot has happened since my last blog post, including the fact that I celebrated a quarter century of life! CraZy! Not only was my last post rather intense and so requires a more light-hearted follow up, but I also have lots of visitors who deserve a shout-out :)

So, the 7th of November was the big birthday...but the day seemed to drag by in its typical-ity (english check, please?). My coworker didn't think I needed to work, so I had the day to myself. I slept in, video chatted with my big sis and favorite niece, took some time to bake, and went to the gym. I did receive lots of b-day wishes on Facebook, via email and on my phone. Finally, around 7 pm my birthday visitors showed up in Santa Rosa and took me out for a delicious dinner and a piece of b-day cake :)

Virgil & Kathy (MCCers from Teguc) were on their way home from Guatemala and took a day to get to know my life in Santa Rosa. It was so great to have them here, to have them go along for a community visit, and try out some good local restaurants.

Then, on Friday of last week, my 2 best friends from Teguc also came to visit me. It was so fun to have Elise and Allison here, to show them around town and have them hang out with my friends. We got to shop, eat some good food, and visit the hot springs in Gracias. Oh, and they even got in on my longest church service yet--3 hours!

While of course it is fun to visit with my good friends from Teguc and catch up on life, there was another element of their visits that was really good for my own self-esteem. First of all, it was great to share my struggles with them and hear their advice and perspective on things. This is definitely something I miss dearly now that we are not living in the same neighborhood!

Secondly, having the opportunity to show them around town and introduce them to my community here was a great way for me to see how far I really have come in these 2 short (LLLLOOOOONNNG) months. I can get around town, and I do know some stuff, and I really do have friends who like hanging out with me. It was super fun to hang out with the youth from church, really feeling like part of the group, and to have them interested in getting to know my other friends. It's a good step forward in my social life.

Don't have pics from the girls (yet) but here are a few others:

look~ i teach about hygiene and health!

this is where i get to work :)

loved having them visit!

3 gringas with the boys of the church youth group... watch out.

message to gringos

I picked up a book from the MCC office a few weeks ago titled “Don’t be afraid, Gringo.” It is a personal narrative of Elvia Alvarado, a Honduran woman who has dedicated her life to helping people in the rural areas of Honduras organize and fight for justice, mostly relating to land reform. She openly shares about the injustices of life for the rural poor and the terrible meddling of the United States in Honduras, sparked by the Contra struggle against the “communist” Sandinista government of Nicaragua in the 80’s.

This book is a fascinating read. Not only does it give an honest view of life in the campo (countryside) of Honduras, but shares one women’s astute perspective of government, politics, corruption and the economic disparity that exists in this country.

When I started the book, I was a little disappointed because it was based on interviews done in the early 80’s, and most of the data is also from that decade (when the book was published). I figured it would seem out of date and irrelevant to the Honduran context today. However, I quickly noticed that most of the stories that Elvia tells could be lifted right from the pages of today’s Honduran newspaper. The inequality between rich and poor, the corruption among government, military and police forces, and ultimately the siphoning of Honduras’ wealth into the hands of the few are all issues that still face the Honduran people today. Going into the more rural areas for my work with ACDIM makes me wonder “Has anything really changed in the last 25 years?” and then, tragically “How has nothing changed in all this time? Why are Hondurans still fighting for the same rights, the same rule of law and the same equality that Elvia struggled for in the early 80’s?

With so much foreign involvement in such a small country, it is depressing and frustrating to consider how little change there has been, especially for the rural campesino population. In this region alone there are development organizations in (seemingly) every community. Hondurans are used to foreigners coming in for a time, making promises, but never really seeing many results. A quote from the book that really impacted me:

Elvia, speaking about Honduran campesinos:
“We don’t need the U.S. money. We never get to see any of it anyway. What do you think that money goes for? To the foreign bank accounts of the rich, to line the pockets of our corrupt politicians, to give the military more power to repress the poor.
It’s the rich who need the U.S. aid, not the poor. We’ve lived for years with only our beans and tortillas, and we’ll go on living with our beans and tortillas. If the U.S. stopped sending money, it would be the rich who’d hurt, not us. They’re the ones who live off the dollars.”

It is a constant struggle to live here as a development worker for a foreign development organization and consider why things are not changing for those living in poverty…and why is what I’m doing any different than what Elvia speaks out against? And the problem is I don’t really have any answers.

I believe so much in the potential Honduras has to be a more equitable country, and I pray often that it could be a peaceful country, free from the extreme level of violence that exists currently. I know in my heart that no amount of microfinance programs to create small businesses will bring families out of poverty without more systemic change in the structures and practices of government. There will be no end to the drug war and gang violence until the corruption among law enforcement is mitigated. The fear that keeps people from speaking out against injustice gives the wealthy ruling class incredible power to keep doing “business as usual.” And it has to change.

“It’s hard to think of change taking place in Central America without there first being changes in the United States…So you Americans who really want to help the poor have to change your own government first. You Americans who want to see an end to hunger and poverty have to take a stand. You have to fight just like we’re fighting—even harder. You have to be ready to be jailed, to be abused, to be repressed. And you have to have the character, the courage, the morale, and the spirit to confront whatever comes your way.

If you say, “oh the United States is so big and powerful, there’s nothing we can do to change it,” then why bother talking about solidarity? If you think like that, you start to feel insignificant and your spirit dies. That’s very dangerous. For as long as we keep our spirits high, we continue to struggle…You also have to be clear about your objectives, about why you’re struggling. You can’t struggle just because someone else tells you it’s a good idea. No, you’ve got to feel the struggle. You’ve got to be completely convinced that what you’re struggling for is just

 …You have to begin educating people, telling them the truth about what’s happening in the world. Because if the press in the United States is anything like it is in Honduras, the people aren’t well informed. You have to teach them what’s really happening in the United States, what your government is really doing. And once you’ve educated people, then get them organized.

…we’re not asking for food or clothing or money. We want you with us in the struggle. We want you to educate your people. We want you to organize your people. We want you to denounce what your government is doing in Central America. From those of you who feel the pain of the poor, who feel the pain of the murdered, the disappeared, the tortured, we need more than sympathy. We need you to join the struggle.”
~Elvia Alvarado

tour of the countryside

Last week was a busy one for us at work. We were out on the road almost every day, running to San Pedro for a meeting, visiting Mennonite churches in our region and meeting with some other people working for NGOs here in Santa Rosa to see if we can work together.

While it has been tiring in many ways, it has been a good way to see more of "occidente" or the western region of Honduras, while also giving me time to talk more with my co-workers.

Although we are still working with women's community groups in 4 different municipalities (see earlier post on work life) we have started to venture into a new project.

Ruth has a vision to work with Mennonite churches here in the western departments of Honduras because many of them are the most rural and impoverished of the denomination. There are 14 churches in Occidente, and we asked the regional pastors to help us identify 6 where we would start working first. Of course, all of them wanted to be included, but we have to keep reminding them that we have to start with a few, but our hope is to eventually work with all of them.

Once we had the pastors on board and decided on 6 (which has morphed into 8), we went to visit each congregation and do "prioritazation of needs" within each individual church. The idea was to have the members of each church identify what their needs are, whether in training, education, health, home needs or church improvements. The whole idea was to not tell them what they need (as many organizations come into a community and dictate what will be done)...and this kind of worked, for the most part. It was some times hard for my coworkers to not jump in with ideas when people didn't talk much, but overall I think we have a good idea of what each church needs.

This whole process has been interesting for me and there have been plenty of frustrations along the way. The largest challenge is that we don't have funds to carry out any projects within these churches, but my co-workers are convinced I will be hooking them up with that. It has been hard for me to bite my tongue against some pretty unrealistic expectations, or when I hear a lot of things I don't agree with...or when they do things in ways that I don't think are the most appropriate.

But I am learning to take these things one at a time and address them constructively, as I am able. On the good days, I think it's getting better. I have also really enjoyed visiting the different Mennonite churches, getting to know the pastors and personality of each church. It is a privilege to get to know and share in the global church.

Here are some photos from our visits last week:

Since I have the nicest handwriting, I get to be the recorder...and it means I don't have to talk as much :)

my boss, Ruth is the lady in the middle w/ the blue coat

yep, I get to work here!

you'll easily notice I am more than a head taller than EVERYONE in the photo (and below). Welcome to my gringa life in Honduras :)