blessed are...

[my blog post was featured on the MCC Latin American Advocacy blog! Same post, but with some fancy artwork. Interesting blog too]

Blessed are those who mourn,
   for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek,
   for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
   for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful,
   for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart,
   for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
   for they will be called children of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
   for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Sometimes there are no other words to express all the feelings that well up inside me. And even at times, these words that have been passed down to generation after generation of believers still feel insufficient.

It has been a long week...and one with a lot of questions. Why does God allow terrible things to happen? Why do God-fearing, God-following people suffer and those who don't follow Christ not seem to suffer at all? How can I provide comfort to people who understand the reality of injustice much more than I ever can?

How can we as Christians who talk and talk and talk about justice make any kind of change in a dangerous and violent society where people are too afraid to speak out?

This week took a shocking turn for my church family in Santa Rosa when one of our brothers was brutally killed after preaching at another church a few minutes outside of town. This man was a well-respected member of our church, always humble and caring, always with a smile and a joking word. He was also a mentor within the youth group and will be greatly missed as a father-figure for many kids, not just his own.

Although it has not been easy, it has been a privilege to be part of this church community and share in their pain this week. To walk along side them and share in the grieving process has taught me a lot already and continues to stretch me in my relationships with friends and in my faith.

When faced with situations of injustice and pain, my first reaction is often one of anger and frustration. Then I think, "ok, but what are we going to DO about it?" Taking action feels like the only correct response, and if I'm not actively pursuing something, then I'm not doing enough. But perhaps we need a change in our thinking. To allow ourselves the freedom to be still for a moment (or two), to mourn, weep, question, beat our chest and dwell in the tragedy and pain. 

It was only in reading the thoughts of others that I was able to allow myself this space for lament and mourning:

The antiquated notion of lamentation points us in a direction opposite to our contemporary impulses. We are conditioned to respond to a problem...by identifying a course of action and mustering as much resolve as possible in an effort to make a positive difference. The standard operating principles – which have their place – include effort, productive change and hope. Lamentation derails that. It provides a sacred space in which to expose our shadiest feelings. 

I need this. I can’t carry all [of this] with me. 

Lamentation is a space in which we do not need to hide or minimize these normally frowned-upon sentiments...In lament, we walk straight into the darkness, the valley of shadows, and stay there as long as necessary. 

Nancy Duff, a professor at Princeton Theological Seminary and an advocate of reviving lamentation, writes that usually “we are taught that true faith in God mitigates such intense feelings” as the ones we might express in lament. Similarly, theologian Walter Brueggemann notes the common and, in his view, unfortunate belief that good Christians do not “acknowledge and embrace negativity.” 

But the biblical lamenters – who wrote a full third of the Psalms – make an art out of our impropriety. They express desire for harsh vengeance (“Happy shall they be who take [the Babylonians’] little ones and dash them against the rock.” Ps 137:9); they make brazen accusations against God (“You [God] have renounced the covenant with your servant.” Ps 89:39); and they cry out in utter despair (“How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?” Ps 13:1). This is not how I was taught to pray in Sunday School. 

Lamentation even allows us to give up. Duff says it “allows us to rely on God and the community to carry forth hope on our behalf when we ourselves have no hope in us.”

 I know that my community here is NOT without hope and have already seen a vibrant strength in the midst of tragedy...but I am asking my broader community to carry forth the hope on our behalf, because sometimes even our most resilient faith can be hard to find.

[quoted text from Will Braun. full article here]

motivation

I like to be balanced in my posting and give an accurate depiction of my experience here. The good and the not so good, if you will. But it is always more fun to post while the going is good.

And things are going well right now. Last week involved some stunning gastronomic pyrotechnics…but thankfully I am back on track with my standard Honduran diet. I found that being cooped up for several days in my house gave me (too much) time to think and made me pretty down about my experience here. It was a combination of sickness, homesickness, and feeling useless. But I think God has used this down-time in my life here to give me time to reflect on things and get some much needed rest.

With a lot of prayer and some good encouragement and support from family and friends, this new week has gotten off to a fresh start…and for that I am so grateful.

Monday found me in a meeting with my coworkers, taking the lead and presenting the project I have been laboring over the past 3 months. Since I have 1 course of curriculum done for the business school and am wrapping up the 2^nd course, my boss and I decided it would be good to do a test-run and see how it goes.

Starting tomorrow, they will teach 1 lesson each week for 7 weeks, with all of my coworkers (the loan officers) taking a shot at teaching. We will have all the community banks from Thursday meet together at 2pm for the class, and then pay their loans after. The goal is to have everyone who works in the bank program present to learn from each other, practice giving training sessions, and so I can get feedback as I work on more and more curriculum.

the countdown!

The past few weeks have been a blur with lots of stuff happening as I prepare to leave the country for a year.

First, I took a crazy road trip with 2 great friends and saw the grand canyon, LA, the pacific ocean and Vegas. When I returned to PA, I hit the ground running trying to pack up, clean up and close up the apartment in New Cumberland. It was a lot of work but Tori and I managed to get everything out and have the carpets cleaned by Friday, July 30. Our reward was a trip to the beach with our favorite friends :)

From Jersey, to Pennsylvania, then Ohio--all in one day (Sunday, August 1st). Since then I have been organizing all my belongings in my parents basement (thanks mom and dad ;) and have been packing all that I can take into 1 suitcase + 1 carry-on for the year ahead. My dad already left the country for a few weeks, so the official goodbyes have begun. There are only a few more days left to soak up family time with my mom and sisters.

Through all of this I have tried to keep looking forward...the end of the to-do list is in sight, and in 12 days I will be flying south to start my year in Honduras :) Over the past few days I received several encouraging emails from future coworkers in Honduras that have made me very excited. One contained details about my host family--and I can't wait to meet them. They are only a block away from my office, very involved in the church, and they are excited to host me. My host mom has a son who is 22, a daughter who is 19, another son who is 13 and a grandson who is 3--and they all live with her. I am looking forward to meeting my family and joining their lively household!

Please keep praying for peace and safety as I head to training in Akron, PA this Thursday. Also pray that my dad is safe as he travels in Kenya for the next few weeks. Thanks <3

Dear friends and family...

Some of you already got this info from me, but it's on the blog so people who I forgot to tell, or those who stumble on my blog in a few months, or stalkers on facebook know what's going on (:


So...I'm leaving my job and the country for a year! Want to know why? Read on:

I have worked for over 2 years in the Admissions office at Messiah College. While I have enjoyed my time there, I’ve had a deep sense of God’s call to do other things with my passions for economic development, cross-cultural ministry and language study. I have been in prayer about the next step and have felt God’s leading to service with MCC (Mennonite Central Committee) in the SALT (Serving and Learning Together) program.

I am excited to share with you that I accepted a 1-year service term in Tegucigalpa, Honduras. The dates of service are August 12, 2010 to July 25, 2011, so I will be working at my current job into July. There are several reasons I am so excited about this opportunity. For one, I am very eager to live in a Spanish speaking country to better hone my Spanish skills. The position is “Income Generation Program Assistant,” which involves oversight of a microfinance program in the outskirts of Tegucigalpa. MCM provides small loans to groups of women to help them with any needs they may have—sending kids to school, starting a business to generate income, or paying for life-cycle needs in their community. This work, known as microfinance, is something I have been interested in for many years, and I am excited to have the opportunity to work directly with an organization that provides Honduran women and their families a chance to improve their economic viability.  It is likely I will have a chance to do other tasks as part of this assignment, such as helping to start a small scale insurance program, offer business workshops, provide training to the loan officers, and even start a business mentoring program with local high school kids. I am sure there will always be “other duties as assigned,” but look forward to trying some new things and expanding my knowledge and skills in this field.

So, as people who are important in my life, I wanted you to know what I’m up to and have you share in my experience. You have already made it to "the blog," which will record my thoughts/experiences as I prepare for Honduras and throughout my time of service. I will try to send some email updates regularly too. If you are interested in either of these, email me and I will add you to the list.

One big thing I need is PRAYER! I would greatly appreciate your prayers as I continue through this door God has opened for me. A few things you can pray for right now: focus to finish out my time out Messiah well; that all the details of leaving for 1 year (car, bank, apartment, etc.) would come together; that God would begin preparing me for my time of service, and for whatever lies ahead in terms of work, host family situation and safety. Your support in this way is greatly appreciated.

Another way you can support me in this endeavor is financially.  One requirement of the SALT program is that I raise a one-time amount of $4500 to cover part of my living expenses for the year. I am grateful that MCC heavily subsidizes this program, but would appreciate help if you feel led to partner with me in this way. 

Donations can be made online @ https://donate.mcc.org/salt. Make sure to check the box that reads, “I would like to make this donation in Memory, in Honor, or in Support.” Choose “In Support of -- SALT” and where it asks for "Full Name:" enter "Charissa Zehr ID# 617916."

**If you prefer to send a check to MCC, let me know and I can give/send you a donation form with the instructions and address.

Thank you in advance for your prayers and support. I could not do this without knowing each one of you is standing behind me. I look forward to sharing more with you in the coming months.