Finding Lempira: new and different

Every year brings new changes to our MCC team, mostly in the form of new service workers. We had to say good bye this year to the Stephens and the Troyers, but now we have been able to welcome new workers and get to know them.

Our September retreat for MCC Honduras was in the central location (central for all but me ;) of Siguatepeque. We were tucked away in a nice retreat center and were able to enjoy cooler temperatures and time together as a team.

What I was not aware of was this retreat center boasts a world-class co-op course and high ropes adventure course.

I would just like to say that in many years of liberal arts college-ing, camp counseling, admissions staff-ing and youth retreat-ing I have had my FAIR share of co-op courses. And I really really really don't need anything like high ropes. I would also like to preface this by saying that I had a bad experience my first weeks in Honduras with a tree, a hammock, and a nasty, um, tree-trapped situation.

So. Day 1, what do they want me to do?? Sit on the edge of a 8 meter high platform and "fall" off to swing and feel like I'm in a hammock. I tried to tell Kike (the guide, pronounced key-kay) that I would be much happier in a real hammock, about 2 feet off the ground, and still happy to reflect on taking risks and what we learn about trust from said situations...but he was not having it. I ALSO tried to get him to push me cuz I was too scared to throw myself off the ledge...and he told me firmly that he never pushes anyone. Ok Mr. I-eat-raw-eggs-for-breakfast-and-probably-walk-on-high-ropes-with-no-safety-ropes. You are of no help to me in my moment of need.

But since I had already climbed the 7 meter ricktey ladder that only Hondurans would tell you is completely safe, I had no choice. I wasn't going back down that thing!

So I fell off the ledge.

And I screamed.

And I was terrified.

And then I sat in a swing for a few minutes to take in the view.

And the little assistant man was like: "ok, but really...you liked it right? "

"NO!" I firmly responded, not smiling.

And it was in this moment I realized...I have spent a lot of my life pushing myself to do scary things. To step out of my comfort zone. To be brave and try something that makes me tremble inside.

But sometimes, you feel no different after you've done it. You think you will, but you don't.

And I've just decided that I'm not an adrenaline junky, and I don't like heights.

So eat that for breakfast, Kike!

Fast Forward to Day 2. Our whole team is to participate in the high ropes team building activities.

I was sick to my stomach. I was praying for rain. I wanted to do ANYTHING but that course.

Thankfully, life is not always as it is in summer camp, and you can say no. And people will respect you.
So, I calmly declined (after chatting with my supervisors) and was content to swallow my fear and watch all of my MCC colleagues from below. On terra firme. Oh, but of course I took lots of photos.

Being brave is important. But knowing your limits can also be just as important. And I think I grew a lot in finally giving myself permission to be afraid and say "no. not this time!"