ode to Honduras

As you might remember from previous posting, I love lists!

On one of our "nights on the town," Elise, Allison and I found ourselves sitting on the patio of a Dunkin' Donuts/Baskin Robbins (note: this is after stuffing ourselves with expensive delicious sushi, a rare splurge! The ice cream may seem superfluous, but to us, a necessity :)
We always love to laugh and talk about crazy Honduran experiences, but we also reflect a lot about things that are such a "normal" part of life here that have required adjustment over time.

And so, in preparation for my pending departure from Nueva Suyapa, I would like to share with you not only a taste of our "You know you've lived in Honduras too long when..." list, but also our "You know you've been in Suyapa too long when..."

You’ve been in Honduras too long when…

You can sing along with more songs on the Latin Music awards than you can on the American Grammys.

You work hard to match your shirt, nail polish, eye shadow, shoes, belt, bracelet & hair accessories.

You’re not appalled by scrunchies.

You’ve started to wonder if your clothes are tight enough.

You can’t even feel comfortable wearing gym wear or a logo t-shirt in public.

You’ve had a meal completely made of carbs: rice, plantains, tortillas & potatoes.

You no longer ask for a knife to eat your hunk of meat.

You can eat soup with your hands.

You always work at having change and never assume anyone has change.

You don’t bat an eye at a bike helmet being used as a moto helmet or at seeing 4 people on a moto.

You no longer think the police are your friends (or you’re actually just afraid of the policia).

You know to monitor the gas station attendant to make sure he’s not robbing you of gas.

You expect the 2^nd question of a taxi driver to be “soltera o casada?” (single or married).

You guard your charger/cable/USB with your life.

You no longer refer to someone by their real name, only by physical characteristics i.e. big teeth, skinny one

You no longer differentiate between b’s & v’s and s’s and c’s.

You pride yourself in all the colectivo routes you know.

You walk into a store and don’t bat an eye when security guards have big guns.

You call people 7 times consecutively because they don’t pick up.

You wait for people to call you so you don’t have to spend your own saldo (phone minutes).

You know the best way to deal with customer service is to be rude & persistent.

You are much more rude to people than you ever were before. Mostly men between the age of 10 & 60.

Your tastebuds are dulled to the sensation of sweetness and saltiness.

Your conversation strategy revolves around family, food and relationship status.

The hardest words to pronounce are actually English words that require a Spanish accent: snickers, Gatorade

You give directions based on minor landmarks or buildings that no longer exist.

You’ve become fearless in asking questions.

You have no shame cutting in line…or you just get angry.

You know you've lived in Suyapa too long when...

You look both ways before you leave a house, not just when crossing the street.

You not only hide your phone/camera in a sock, but you also take out the chip and hide it in your bra.

You don’t even carry a purse because your bra has become multi-functional.

You interrogate the taxi driver if he really will take you to your house. The whole way. Really.

You have an urge to lie down in any green patch of grass.

You blame any illness on polvo (dust) or cambio de clima (change in weather).

You plan your errands around possible jalons (free ride).

You now think ambulance sirens and flashing lights are overkill because in Suyapa the police/medics just don’t show up.

You know to put arms and legs inside the vehicle when passing a wet spot so you don’t get sprayed by sewage water.

You’re content with dirty water in your bucket bath.

You have favorite buses & cobradors and you have more than 5 taxi contacts in your phone.

You base friendships/interactions on whether or not people have a car.