cultural-izing

Last week I sent an email asking friends and family for ideas about blog posts…mostly things they are curious about that I might be overlooking or neglecting to talk about. One friend asked how my own culturalization process is going, which has given me a lot to think about. My word processor is telling me that ‘culturalization’ is not a word…but I like it, so I’ll use it anyway. To me, it means, how am I adapting to the culture, what things have been a struggle, and what things are changing me as I learn more and more about how Hondurans live and think.

After 7 months in Honduras, I feel like I have pretty adequate expectations for how things will happen or what to expect. For example, I have become accustomed to the phrases “ya vengo,” “ya llego” and ahorita. All of these phrases, literally translated, communicate a sense of immediacy—‘I’m coming now,’ ‘I’m arriving now,’ and ‘right now.’ But over time, you learn that ‘right now’ can mean in the next 5 minutes, or next 55 minutes. This has definitely been an adjustment for me, a very punctual person; however, I’m learning that it’s not offensive to be late, as it is in my home culture. Hondurans are much more people oriented than time oriented, and I’m learning to love this mentality. I’m not late because I don’t care about you and your schedule…I’m late because someone else interrupted the plan and it would be rude to brush them off, so I gave them my full attention first. I appreciate the value placed on people, even when it does mean I spend 45 minutes at a bus stop waiting for my host brother to get around to picking me up!

I find it challenging to fully reflect on how I am adjusting and adapting to culture in Honduras because the longer I am here, the less “weird” certain things seem. The differences in culture are most highlighted for me when I have visitors from the states with me and they comment on all the things that I think are rather normal. This could range from my shower routine, use of water in the house, and food to home remedies when one is sick, church customs and even prejudices. All of these things are part of my host family’s culture and I have begun to learn how to adapt to all of these things, even though they may be 100% different from the way I live in the states.

Not too much has shaken me up here in Honduras, nor have I had any meltdowns over things that don’t go my way. I am interested to try new things and learn as much as I can of different experiences. I say this not to brag about adjusting to life here, but to try and explain that I came without having a lot of expectations of how things would be. I try not to immediately think “I would never do that that way” but instead think “Interesting. I wonder why Hondurans do it this way.” Overall, I think this approach helps me to appreciate Honduran culture rather than continually fight against what could be frustrating, annoying, or just different. It’s not that someone is wrong, they just think differently. Different isn’t bad…it’s just not the way you are.

But, there are still things that are hard for me to deal with. It’s on those days when you’re sick of the pee smell that seems to hover over every pile of trash and drain trough in the neighborhood…when you can’t walk past a corner without having men leer at you and make annoying comments…when it feels like 100 degrees outside and all you can have for lunch is soup (yes—always on the hottest day of the week!)…when all you crave for breakfast is peanut butter on a bagel and you have to eat sour cream on white bread…when you just want to get in your own car but your only option is the bus that will take 40 minutes to get you 6 miles…when all you want is to buy something simple but you have to go to 6 stores before you can even find something close to it…when Honduran ideas of personal property (or lack thereof) invade your space and frustrate to no end…those are the days when I stop and think, “will I ever get used to living in Honduras? Will I always be annoyed by these little things?”

Of course, there are bigger things that are even harder to adjust to and these are usually where I have to work the hardest to not speak out too harshly, and accept that there are many cultural differences at play.  Stereotypes and discrimination of a wide variety—racial, physical, religious—are all very prevalent and the discussions are so different from the politically correct lingo engrained by my American culture. I don’t even think the phrase “politically correct” even translates here!  Thoughts about immigration to the U.S., U.S. political policy, how Americans think and act—all interesting topics of conversation in this cultural that are often inaccurate and sometimes offensive.

But…this is all part of the crazy, awkward, interesting, silly, insightful, funny, difficult, educational experience that is living with a host family. Most days I love it. Some days I laugh a lot. Others I just want my own car and some alone time. But I couldn’t imagine my time in Honduras any other way. The full immersion into a Honduran family has taught me so much more about the culture than I could learn traveling and living on my own. My work experience with mostly Honduran co-workers is another important piece of my culturalization and self-discovery process that I am really enjoying as well.

For me, culturalization is about putting aside your own ideas of what should be and how things work to make room for all the new ideas and processes you can learn about. This is not to say you deny your culture or put your own values on the shelf…but instead accept that before you can start making changes or encourage people to see things differently, you have to adapt, build trust, and be open to learning.  Then, after all of this (a process never fully complete) you are able to share more of your own ideas, values and culture and hopefully return even one tiny fraction of the insight you have been given.