motivation

I like to be balanced in my posting and give an accurate depiction of my experience here. The good and the not so good, if you will. But it is always more fun to post while the going is good.

And things are going well right now. Last week involved some stunning gastronomic pyrotechnics…but thankfully I am back on track with my standard Honduran diet. I found that being cooped up for several days in my house gave me (too much) time to think and made me pretty down about my experience here. It was a combination of sickness, homesickness, and feeling useless. But I think God has used this down-time in my life here to give me time to reflect on things and get some much needed rest.

With a lot of prayer and some good encouragement and support from family and friends, this new week has gotten off to a fresh start…and for that I am so grateful.

Monday found me in a meeting with my coworkers, taking the lead and presenting the project I have been laboring over the past 3 months. Since I have 1 course of curriculum done for the business school and am wrapping up the 2^nd course, my boss and I decided it would be good to do a test-run and see how it goes.

Starting tomorrow, they will teach 1 lesson each week for 7 weeks, with all of my coworkers (the loan officers) taking a shot at teaching. We will have all the community banks from Thursday meet together at 2pm for the class, and then pay their loans after. The goal is to have everyone who works in the bank program present to learn from each other, practice giving training sessions, and so I can get feedback as I work on more and more curriculum.

The meeting was so great for me on many levels. I finally felt as if I am at least contributing something to the overall ministry of the Income Generation Program. I got to share my project and take questions and comments from my coworkers, and I also got affirmation on the work that I’ve been doing. What has seemed so ambiguous and like a “loner” kind of project is starting to feel more like a contribution to the team.  It also didn’t hurt that I got some looks of “Oh, so this is what you’ve been doing since you got here. I had no idea!” and some positive words of affirmation.

Of course, I know the hard part has only begun. There are still many questions of how I am to accomplish 22 more courses of curriculum before I leave (!) and how I can help create systems that will enable the project to continue after I leave. Also, as I learn more and more about Honduran culture, I realize that this enthusiasm and pressure from my boss to move ahead will not last forever!

But for now, I am enjoying each day as it comes. Thankful for a glimpse of forward progress that gives me the motivation to forge ahead. I am learning, little by little, that this is definitely not a term of service, but so much a term of learning—about myself, this culture, God working in me and in this culture…and even though I know I am but one small drop in the bucket, it is helpful every now and then to feel like there is purpose in all of this. Today I feel purposeful. That is likely to change tomorrow.

But what good is it to worry about tomorrow when you still have all of today in front of you? ;)